That Restless Feeling You Can’t Quite Name? It Might Be FOMO.
You’re scrolling through your phone, or going through the various tabs open in your mind, and suddenly, it hits you.
Everyone seems to be doing something — traveling, celebrating, achieving, living.
And somehow, you feel… behind. Left out. Like you missed a memo that everyone else received.
That sinking feeling in your chest? That restlessness in your gut? That subtle but sharp self-doubt?
That’s FOMO — Fear of Missing Out.
And in today’s world, it’s more than just a passing thought. It’s a psychological pattern that deeply affects our self-worth, mental health, and ability to stay present in our own lives.
What Is It, Really?
FOMO isn’t just about wanting to be where others are. It’s the anxious belief that:
“Something better is happening without me.”
“If I’m not part of it, I’ll fall behind.”
“My life is somehow ‘less than’ compared to others.”
At its core, FOMO is rooted in comparison, scarcity, and disconnection — from ourselves, our values, and the present moment. It’s not always about missing a social event and knowing that your friends had fun without you.
The Psychology Behind FOMO
While FOMO has become a cultural buzzword, it has deep psychological underpinnings:
1. Comparison as a Coping Mechanism
Human beings are wired to compare — it’s how we assess safety, belonging, and progress. But in a digital world where we’re bombarded with carefully curated highlight reels, our brains begin to distort reality. We compare our entire internal world to someone else’s edited external snapshot.
2. Fear of Rejection and Abandonment
FOMO often activates early emotional wounds —especially for those with relational trauma or attachment insecurities. Missing out feels like being excluded. It taps into a fear of not being wanted, chosen, or remembered.
3. The Myth of ‘Better’
There’s a quiet but dangerous assumption beneath FOMO: “There is a version of life I should be living — and I’m not.”
This belief is deeply tied to perfectionism, societal expectations, and internalised pressure to constantly do more, achieve more, be more.
How FOMO Affects Mental Health
Left unchecked, chronic FOMO can quietly erode our wellbeing:
It fuels anxiety and decision fatigue.
It deepens low self-worth, as we question whether we’re “enough.”
It disrupts authentic rest, making us feel guilty for slowing down.
It disconnects us from our own joy, as we chase someone else’s version of it.
In therapy, we often see FOMO as a symptom — not just of social media use, but of deeper disconnection from self-trust, self-compassion, and present-moment awareness.
But… How Do We Begin to Heal It?
Name It Without Shame
Notice when FOMO arises — and meet it with kindness.
“I feel like I’m missing out, and it’s making me anxious. That’s okay. This is a common human feeling.”
Awareness is the first, most powerful step.
Return to Your Values
Ask: “What actually matters to me right now?”
If what someone else is doing doesn’t align with your current season of life, it’s okay to let it go. Ground yourself in your own path.
Curate What You Consume
Social media isn’t inherently bad — but it should be consumed mindfully. Unfollow accounts that trigger comparison. Follow people who reflect authenticity, nuance, and softness.
Anchor into the Present
When FOMO strikes, gently shift your focus:
What can I notice right here, right now? The taste of my tea or coffee. The comfort of my home. The joy of missing out (JOMO) on the noise.
Build Self-Trust
Often, FOMO is a sign we don’t fully trust our own decisions. Remind yourself: “I’m allowed to live at my own pace. My life doesn’t have to look like anyone else’s to be meaningful.”
FOMO Is a Signal, Not a Truth
FOMO isn’t evidence that your life is lacking.
It’s evidence that you’ve temporarily lost touch with your own center.
And the antidote? It’s not chasing more. It’s coming back to you.
To what feels right in your body.
To what gives your life meaning.
To what’s unfolding quietly but beautifully in the life you’re already living.
Consider this a sign to stop chasing someone else’s and start reclaiming your own.
Whether you're struggling with self-doubt, anxiety, or the emotional toll of constant comparison, therapy can help.
Come home to your life. Come home to yourself.
We’re here to walk with you.
