Are Your Thoughts Playing Tricks on You? Let’s Talk About Cognitive Distortions.

We’ve all been there. Someone cuts you off in traffic and suddenly you’re fuming: “What a jerk!” You miss a deadline and tell yourself, “I can never do anything right.” Or maybe you’re in a disagreement and hear yourself thinking, “You’re always snapping at me!” Sound familiar?

Our minds can be drama queens sometimes. We all have automatic thoughts — quick, reflex-like reactions to what’s happening around us. Most of the time, we don’t even notice them. But these thoughts influence how we feel, how we behave, and ultimately, how we see ourselves and the world. And when they lean negative for too long, they can quietly shape a distorted version of reality.

Enter: cognitive distortions—those sneaky thinking traps that colour our perceptions and make us feel worse than we need to.

So, what are cognitive distortions?

They're mental shortcuts or filters the brain uses to simplify the constant flood of information we’re exposed to. But sometimes, in trying to "help," our brains oversimplify too much — and we end up buying into negative, biased thoughts that don't reflect the full picture.

And here’s the kicker: these distortions often start forming in childhood and hardwire themselves into the way we think and feel under stress. Think of them like the dodgy software that runs quietly in the background of your mental operating system — buggy, outdated, and in need of a few upgrades.

Let’s meet some of the usual suspects, shall we?

The Usual Thinking Traps:

1. All-or-Nothing Thinking
Everything’s either a total success or a complete failure.

“If I don’t win this competition, I’m worthless.”

2. Overgeneralisation
One setback = a doomed future.

“I didn’t get this job, so I’ll never succeed.”

3. Mental Filter
Focusing only on the negative—like picking one bad grape and deciding the whole bunch is rotten.

“All I can think about is that one negative review.”

4. Disqualifying the Positive
Positive things? Meh. They don’t count.

“What good are all my efforts if this is the outcome?”

5. Jumping to Conclusions
Mind-reading and fortune-telling with zero proof.

“They laughed. They must be making fun of me.”

6. Magnification/Minimisation
Blowing things way out of proportion or brushing off achievements.

“I made one mistake—now everyone thinks I’m incompetent.”

7. Emotional Reasoning
Believing your feelings are facts.

“I feel anxious, so I must be terrible at this.”

8. ‘Should’ and ‘Must’ Statements
Putting rigid expectations on yourself or others.

“I should always be happy. If I’m not, something’s wrong.”

9. Labelling and Mislabeling
Turning a single action into an identity.

“I made a mistake—so I’m a failure.”

10. Personalisation
Taking things personally that have nothing to do with you.

“They’re upset. I must have done something wrong.”

11. Catastrophising
Assuming the worst-case scenario is inevitable.

“If I mess this up, I’ll lose everything.”

12. Mind Reading/Fortune Telling
You’re not psychic—but you think you are.

“She didn’t reply—she must be mad at me.”

13. Tunnel Vision
Only seeing the bad parts and completely ignoring the good.

“They’re disappointed in me because of this one mistake.”

But… What Do We Do With These Thoughts?

First off: it’s normal to have distorted thoughts from time to time. You’re human, not a thought-monitoring robot. But when these patterns become persistent, they can really start to mess with your confidence, relationships, and ability to cope.

The good news? You can do something about it.

The first step is awareness — catching these patterns in the act. It’s like hearing your brain say, “You’re useless,” and replying, “Really? Let’s look at the evidence, shall we?”

Changing how we think doesn’t mean faking positivity or pretending everything’s fine when it’s not. It’s about responding with clarity, not fear. With perspective, not panic.

Personally, whenever I find myself spiraling into a loop of worst-case scenarios (and trust me, it happens more often than I’d like to admit), I try to ground myself with one simple thought: “Whatever happens, I’ll deal with it then. Future Me has got this.”

Because here’s the thing — worrying about what might happen is like paying interest on a debt you haven’t even borrowed yet. (And no one needs extra EMIs in this economy, right?)

Another trick I’ve learned? Zoom out. When someone cancels plans, it doesn’t mean they don’t care about you — it might just mean life got in the way. Reframing that thought helps you keep your peace instead of spiralling into self-doubt.

And no, I’m not saying this is easy — especially with everything going on in the world and in people’s lives. But every time you challenge a distorted thought, you take back a little control. You build mental strength. You make space for compassion — towards yourself and others.

You Deserve a Kinder Mind

If your thoughts have been a bit noisy or critical lately, try checking in with yourself. Are any of these distortions making an appearance? Gently challenge them. Label them. Ask: Is this 100% true? Is there another way to look at this?

Think of it as mental hygiene — just like brushing your teeth, you need to clear out the mental gunk too.

And hey, if you catch yourself in a spiral, don’t beat yourself up for it. That’s just another distortion sneaking in. You're learning. You're growing. You’re human.

Be kind to yourself — especially in your own head. After all, you’re the one who has to live there.

Take a breath. Notice your thoughts. And remember: not everything you think is the truth—sometimes, it’s just an old story waiting to be rewritten.

You've got this. And if you want more support, reach out. I’ll go through this with you.